I want to tell you how obsessed I am about you. Of the long nights we have had together. As you twirl, kick and move. How I engage you in small talk. How I get to work late because I need not to interrupt your playing moment right after my alarm goes off. That moment is Holy. I love it when I am hungry and you kinda throw tantrums. At that moment you don’t only kick or move, you throw things around in there to remind me that I need to feed you.
I however wonder how you look like. Do you look more like your father or me? Will you have my eyes or his? One thing I don’t doubt is that you look awesome, and amazing, and unique, and loved. Damn, so much! I never understood my mother’s love until saw you through the ultra sound at week 15. Suddenly my bladder relocated to the eye-balls. You were so beautiful in black and white. I am still in awe… Yet, it hasn’t been blissful all through. You have given me scares that had me running to hospital in tears. Still, I have spent countless nights wondering if I will be good for you. If my good will be enough for you. Will my love will be enough? Will you love me back? Please remind me to love myself when I’m lost in you, will you?
I pray that you grow up in good health; of mind, body and soul. May you grow in knowledge and wisdom; to have mental, spiritual and social intellect. I pray I don’t fail you. I pray that you live to your true purpose. That nothing will hold you back. I pray you seek God in everything you do; that Matthew 6: 33 will always be your reference point. I pray you don’t take after me, or your dad or anyone else. Be your true self, unique in character and personality. I pray you will forgive me for the many times I will mess things up in the hope of doing good to you and for you.
I pledge to introduce you to my God; Proverbs 22:6 compels me to it. The God I have known all this long and trust that when you grow up, you will not depart. I pledge to love and protect you even from yourself. I pledge to give you all that I can; all that you need. I pledge to set out a path for you to which you will follow when you are big enough. I would pledge the entire world for you my love, flesh of my flesh.
So, cheers to you; for making me a mother. For teaching me patience- I am not the most patient person yet here I am, waiting to meet you. For invading my body (good job kiddo). For the hectic 4 months of morning sickness and an entire unpredictable pregnancy thereafter. For teaching me to appreciate little things *see what I did there*. Above all, thanks to God for choosing and entrusting me with you. This is for you!
PS: You are my new revelation; and so my life will change. My Facebook statuses will revolve around you and so are my IG posts. And because we are a generation of social media mum, you will forgive me.
Let’s at least agree on that.