Ring Finger

You had me mentally married

In my mind, you put a ring on this finger

And for the longest time, I had this imaginary ring

to keep off any man

Had reserved this finger for you,

your ring finger.

You had my mind locked

to nothing but your glittering ring

friends tell me it’s overdue

your moment to put a ring on it

instead you took it off

left my your finger empty

Now my mind is moving in 360

round and round

staring at what was your ring finger

and the glittering gold ring is no more

left behind is a sore ring mark

to remind me of what was once your ring finger.

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Understanding Me

Over the last few months, mine has been an emotional roller-coaster. I have had my best moments and bad moments too. At one time I was being hailed in my village after my graduation and weeks later, a part of me was slowly dying. I have pretended to be fine though something could show to those who know me. Bottled up so much anger I couldn’t even bleed if I was cut! left with so many un-answered questions, wondering what people do when love don’t love them?

After a period of soaking in sadness and anger, I realized I needed to be sober. To face the situation a little more critically and rationally without getting emotional. I embarked on a journey to try and understand me.

A friend told me that “insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expect  different results”. It hit me maybe it’s time I change how I do things.

Maybe it’s time I seek myself first before seeking others.

I want to know me inside out.

I want to understand my emotions better.

I want to deal with myself first before you come in.

I want to love me completely before I could love you.

I want to be able to handle me, so that I can handle you better.

I want to deal with past issues which I have let spill into my present.

I want to take time with myself before I can spend the rest with you.

Me

I need to be able to share myself with me before I let you in.

I need to guard my heart to be able to guard yours.

I need to unmask the skeletons in my closet before I can dress you.

I need to build a way for us to take.

I need to lead you to my path for you to follow.

I need to keep walking to our destiny.

I need to keep the spirit even when you stop.

I need to sketch my dreams in order to see our future.

I need to understand me, to understand you.

Lost Blood

Grey replaced loyalty,

Time became a killer,

Of something mightily blessed

Conversations turned the room dull,

There was no clear sight

Friends become foes

Distance grew wider

Black was dancing to the victory song

As red lay on the dying bed.

Bleeding_Rose_red_left-vampire

Dressed in a blue armour,

Hope fought tirelessly,

Though her energy dwindled like a flickering light.

She held a green mantle

And matched around the cemetery

Calling out loud to save the lost blood

Yellow adamantly followed

And pride swayed her hips from a distance.

Tried, and tired of the fight,

Each cut going deeper

And with scars bluntly showing

She won’t let her zeal die

determined to fight tooth and nail

To save the lost blood

To save her own flesh,

Her Love.

PS: The title is borrowed from Xtatic’s song “Lost Blood”, one of my favorite unpublished song she ever did!

The Language of Silence

Listen,
as silence speaks,
they talk in their native language,
so loud that the deaf could hear.
In their artistry they ask for a moment,
in honor of the departed, we remain silence.
In their language they rob us a chance to share,
they rob us the vital sense of relationships,
repressing our feelings,
killing the desire to express ourselves.
In the sound of silence,
we are threatened,
we are uncertain whether to break it or not,
and in the naked light,
silence strikes!
and we all recognise their presence.
It’s only when silence speaks,
that we are able to listen to our thoughts.

I Chased The Rain

I chased the Rain away

Without my knowledge I sent it away

I let the wind blow it to a different land

Whining and dissatisfied I blew it away

And now am dying from drought…

I chased the Rain

Just when the skies were swollen like udders

The clouds were dark ready to let it fall

But I was too impatient to wait for the skies  to open

And instead, they curved in fear…

I shortchanged the Rain

No enough was ever enough for me

In showers I wanted heavy down pour,

I never appreciated it, belittled it

And now am crying under the merciless sun

Burning me to the heart…

Bring back the Rain,

Just to see the raindrops rolling down my window

And I will surrender to it

I’ll let it rain in a special way,

Quiet, gentle, tapping on my roof…

Dear God bring back the Rain tonight!

Coming From Where I’m From

Waking up each morning,

to noise of  children as they play in the neighbourhood,

the rays of the rising sun shamelessly peeping through the cracks on the wooden house,

gets off her small bed in search of something to put in her stomach.

in the kitchen there sat a set of  stones,

clueless, supporting a sufuria coated with soot,

smoke filled the small room,

from the wet firewood collected last night

the cracks clearly indicating the situation there.

In the farm, women are busy tilling ,

men in the sheds cleaning, feeding and milking

children flirting with the sun, playing all sorts of games …

a village. Nuclear village.

clustered families,

where life is like shadows that don’t know where to go,

waiting for tomorrow.

At sunset we share a basin of water to wash our feet,

gathered at the fireplace,

with our stomach growling in hunger,

we fight for the little crumbs available,

something  just to make us fall asleep,

and sometimes things get rough,

but it’s my pride. It’s where I am from.

His Love

His love,

Is in the rays of the setting sun,

in the particles of the ocean sand.

It’s in the moon shinning bright at night,

in the water flowing below my feet.

It’s in the hearts beating in rhythm,

in the words carefully written  in rhyme.

It’s in the peace calming down the wind,

in this feeling causing whirlwind.

It’s in nature’s way of protecting its resources,

in the rivers flow, running away from its source.

His love is my weakness.

It’s what keep me alive

Peaceful Waters

Sat by the river

listening to the water splash in a hurry

Birds singing beautiful melodies

But thoughts tore my mind

They invaded my most vital part

barring every clear idea

what if I dive in,

or maybe just fell in

would I survive?

Would my limbs save me?

Would I be at peace?

…. and then I let my mind free

I let the water carry my thoughts away

cool calm water

flowing beneath my feet,

freezing the blood inside me

my feet trembled

in those cold water,

but there was peace in its calmness

the surrounding was serene

green and full on life

I felt a change

as my soul took a rest

it took control of me

Cleared my every thought.

The water supplied me with peace.

On the horizon

the sun begun to set

as the water run faster

for a moment I was blank

and I knew that was it!

My mind was clear,

My soul had found rest,

My heart was at peace.

Everything had been swept away by the river

the setting sun promised a new dawn

just as it silently assured.

I don’t know what to call this

Soul searching,

Meditation,

Contemplation,

Evaluation,

In the quest to find thy true self,

To find a bearing,

To find an anchor point,

To prioritise,

To know the value,

To know what matters and wahat don’t,

To distinguish between a heart’s and/or mind’s work,

To find ones strengths,

To place “what” where it should be,

To establish your career path,

To have life,

To decide when to quit or let pass,

To tell reality rule,

To rebuild,

To break,

To make a fresh start,

To let God rule,

To read the signs,

To ignore the not-so-important,

To take a rest,

To end!

Life Is a Journey

Low spirited

Life’s difficulties

Heavy burdens

Weighing her down

so much zeal

to reach her destination.

Dark clouds

Feeling grey

a grim of sadness

’cause love so complicated

a heart so willing

till love bears fruits.

Heavy panting

Enduring soul

loyal to this life

determined to finish the race

the victory torch awaits her

at the end of life’s journey.