Over the last few months, mine has been an emotional roller-coaster. I have had my best moments and bad moments too. At one time I was being hailed in my village after my graduation and weeks later, a part of me was slowly dying. I have pretended to be fine though something could show to those who know me. Bottled up so much anger I couldn’t even bleed if I was cut! left with so many un-answered questions, wondering what people do when love don’t love them?
After a period of soaking in sadness and anger, I realized I needed to be sober. To face the situation a little more critically and rationally without getting emotional. I embarked on a journey to try and understand me.
A friend told me that “insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expect different results”. It hit me maybe it’s time I change how I do things.
Maybe it’s time I seek myself first before seeking others.
I want to know me inside out.
I want to understand my emotions better.
I want to deal with myself first before you come in.
I want to love me completely before I could love you.
I want to be able to handle me, so that I can handle you better.
I want to deal with past issues which I have let spill into my present.
I want to take time with myself before I can spend the rest with you.
I need to be able to share myself with me before I let you in.
I need to guard my heart to be able to guard yours.
I need to unmask the skeletons in my closet before I can dress you.
I need to build a way for us to take.
I need to lead you to my path for you to follow.
I need to keep walking to our destiny.
I need to keep the spirit even when you stop.
I need to sketch my dreams in order to see our future.
I need to understand me, to understand you.